Time for bed
My hubby who has been promising since January (when he quit his hell job...I told him to quit, we'd make due) that he'd get a job. I waited. I waited for too long. We fought. He told me I'd be able to get a full-time job easier...that I'd be SELFISH to not. (probably because I can honestly pass a drug test, but anyway...). I got a full-time job in July. Well, actually I think June. I'm doing very well there, and I really do love the job. Our family is a family of five. We need a full-time and a part-time income AT LEAST to make it. For a long time, he was the full-time and I was the part-time. In fact, I quit my part-time job to take my full-time job. So, he promised to be the one to work part-time. He applied at a couple pizza places...and that's it.
I got a part time job.
I now work 7 days a fucking week.
Forgive me for sounding like a 3 year-old, but it's just not fucking fair.
He says he doesn't want me to do it..but I have to. We'll lose our phone and electric soon. That's simply not an option.
Eating today went *fairly* well. 907 cals, and 400 burned off with exercise.
Oh my poor friend X (yes, her name starts with an 'X'). She thinks she triggered my eating disorder to come back. They never quite leave you, and yes, she triggered me. She did not cause my 'relapse' though. I had started this journal a couple days before our conversation. She didn't know that, though. No one in my life knows it. I can't let them. I *hate* being watched. A couple of my friends compete, because they have issues of their own. A couple try to stop me, because, seriously, they care. My best friend would try to stop me, and I think partly because she is the thin, beautiful, one of us. She was...always. I never got as thin as her (she's a natural 0), but I got close. She went nuts telling me I was too thin.
So, I hide here.
I'm going to have to take something to sleep soon. I start my 2nd job tomorrow, and my husband is out for the night. (He wanted a night out before *I* started working 7 days a week)