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January 2007

S M T W T F S
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My Whys

I woke up this morning 2 lbs lighter. 138.6

I'm not planning on putting my actual diet in here, unless I think it is something really useful. Like, a Jennie-O turkey burger cut up into a can of green veggies is like 300 cals and leaves you stuffed. Not to mention the fiber, and anas are usually constipated.

I have a few reasons for living this way. Of course, I had the tragic story of people calling me fat, etc...all that stuff. The guy in school that didn't want me (wants me now that I'm thin, go figure), all that shit. I'm sick of saying it's still about that. Sure, that may have triggered the start, but it's a part of my life now.

Now, though, it's a way of dealing with stress..

It's a way of being successful. Like it or not, thinner people make it farther in business.

My hubby goes places with his friends...his friends bring thier wives/girlfriends. I'm not invited. I want him to WANT to invite me...not be one of those women who impose.

I want the confidence that I had at my low-weight back. I posed for pictures. I honestly can't remember after that when I had my picture taken.

I love being able to curl into a little ball...fitting into the chair in a ball is lovely.

I'm just happier that/this way.

I'd love some ideas to the best ana groups on here.

Thanks,
~Nina









Comments

Hey great job on the 2 lb weight loss.
I'm sad :( , I hear your pain...
being an old married woman w/children and
wondering if you're still attractive.
And of course, in this culture, equating
attractiveness with thinness...
But, I do see that you do understand,
it's not thinness...it's the confidence that
comes with being thin. Why do we have to
be model thin to feel confident?

You're really interesting

You really make me think. I'm going to think and write on this.
Oh,gee...
I had had a couple glasses of wine,
and I was merely playing off things that you had said in your entry...
maybe I made some incorrect assumptions.

"I want him to WANT to invite me"
"Like it or not, thinner people make it farther in business"
"I want the confidence that I had at my low-weight back"
"I'm just happier that/this way"

I myself have had similar feelings,
I know that my confidence level is tied into my weight (whatever it may be at the time),
but rationally, weight should not control how I feel and present myself to the world,
but it does :(
I'll quit blabbering now.

Have you checked out "fading-obsession.com",
it's pretty good.



Added you back

Congrats your loss I hope we'll both meet our goals. I'm sure your beautiful enough to stop some men in their tracks (men...married in particular take their women for advantage. they don't know what they're missing 'till it's gone).

P.S Sorry there isn't much in my journal but I disappeared for a while and lj deleted my name- but now I'm back (obviously).